April 23rd, 2003

bald australia sepia

Dreaming of The Quest for Identity

I'm in this gigantic auditorium type place which is attached to a shopping mall and a junior high school. All the characters in the dream (including me) are simultaneously Junior High kids and my peers (people in their 20s). Which is to say we look like people in our 20s but we're going to Junion High.

There was some really specific and interesting character driven plot involving running around trying to nonchalantly hide from these throngs of people who were themselves running around for a different reason. I really don't remember the motivation but it had something to do with an ex-girlfriend (second dream of the week to feature an ex...weird).

Anyway, while I don't remember the plot, I do remember the setting and the ironic realization at the end. There was this ever growing mob of people leaving the auditorium seeking to chase after some super star teen idol that was in the building. Many of them were stopping in stores and bathrooms to alter their appearance to look like the teen idol. Some of them were successful, so successful that _they_ started getting chased by part of the chaotic mob. All the while I'm just trying to make it back to the auditorium unnoticed (no small task since as things progress everyone looks more and more the same...and I stand out more and more as looking different).

When I finally make it back to the auditorium, it is almost completely empty but there are sparsely filled seats all over the place and as I look around I noticed that every single occupant of every seat is a minority or a woman (not all the women are here, just the ones who chose not to run off...but not a single white boy chose to stay). And it dawns on me that this is a really telling picture of how little diversity we have in our school (the school in the dream) which is apparently some bullshit elite prep school or something. Also telling is that there is a message here about how disenfranchised, disconnected from the mainstream and therefore disempowered these folks are BUT they are simultaneously the coolest most independent people, the people I want to be with. So I finally make my way to where my friends are sitting (friends that I never had noticed were minorities before, just friends) and join them.
bald australia sepia

Evil Beard

I wasn't going to write about it but I might as well since I mentioned it in my previous post.

Last week I had a pretty straightforward dream that was simple, disturbing, and fairly hilarious (that it was disturbing was itself hilarious).

I dreamt that I was sleeping with an ex-gf. I think the dream must have been set back in the days when we were dating because in the dream I felt no bad feelings about cheating on my current gf. It seemed like the natural thing to do in the context of the dream.

Anyway, in the dream we woke up and went for a walk. She looked in the mirror at some point and screamed. She had grown a beard! Just stubble but quite dark and thick, like mine. Then we jointly theorized that maybe we'd had too much sex and this was a result of that. Some kind of extension of the hair on the palms masturbation myth I guess.

So I wonder if this has to do with my constant anxieties about my stubble being uncomfortable for my partner when I forget to shave, or about anxieties about the possible consequences of sex (beard as a metaphor for pregnancy?), or just another surreal moment in the dream life of Zach.

It is interesting that I've been dreaming about exes lately. I never dreamed about them when we were dating. I never dream about my current partner now. I almost never dream about the people who are close to me....my dreams are entirely populated by dream extras playing the parts of my dream friends and by not-so-close totally random friends, usually from the past. Have I been completely split off from my exes for so long that they're drifting into that "friends from the past who I'd love to see but don't cling to and so they pop up in my dreams" category?