Zach Miller (zarfmouse) wrote,
Zach Miller
zarfmouse

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God damned memetic obligations.

THE WHO'S:
Who are you anyway? a dreamer. a lover. an inspirer. an obsessive-compulsive histrionic narcissist.
Who on your friends list knows you the best? duck2ducks
Who on that damn list could you never, ever introduce to the folks back home? none that I can think of.
Who scares even you? Anyone with more than $1B in assets.
Who is your hero? Ursula LeGuin
Who was the last person you saw face to face? Daria before bed.
Who's the last person that you had a drink with? I'm pretty sure I haven't had a drink since the Humpty Dumpster show at desert_fox's house. I drank a lot with a lot of people at that party. The last shot I had was probably with Jay.

THE WHAT'S:
What's under your bed? posters waiting to be hung up.
What's that smell? I've been mineral deprived for a few months. What smell?
What was in that drink anyway? Ice and Chai.
What's the last substance you ingested? Skittles.
What's your worst vice? Live Journal
What's most likely in your VCR/DVD player right now? The Animatrix
What's in your pocket? I am not wearing any pants.
What's wrong with these kids today? Their parents don't teach them critical thinking skills with which to evaluate the barrage of media imagery that is more than any previous time in history targetted efficiently directly at them.

THE WHEN'S:
When's the last time you took a bath? It's been at least a year. I don't like our current tub very much.
When's the last time more than one person saw you naked at the same time? Hmm. I don't actually know who has been looking when I've been naked lately.
When's the last time you made a jackass out of yourself? When I decided to perpetuate this inane meme.
When's the best time to hit you up for cash? Right now before it gets reinvested.
When's the the worst time to break up with someone? The day after the wedding.
When's that mess gonna get cleaned up? When I quit my day job.
When's your ship gonna come in? August 15th
Where are your manners? Fuck manners, I'm a nice guy.
Where is the last place, other than your bed you passed out? The benches outside the McKinley foundation
Where were you the last time you busted your ass? November, 2002 - Bike vs. Car - Griggs and McCullough
Where do you keep the porn? On my computer.
Where can someone most likely see you without pants? In my bedroom. Out and about in grassy fields during major downpours. In the Alaskan wilderness. Around the house when no one is home. Pants are overrated.
Where did you put the Cool Whip? I don't.
Where are your pants anyway? all over my floor.

And finally...

THE WHY'S:
Why are there no dinosaurs in the Bible? That methuselah guy lived pretty damned long. I bet he was a dinosaur.
Why can't you spit into the wind? You can, you just have to face the consequences or duck real fast.
Why don't monkeys wear pants? Some monkeys wear pants. The cute ones.
Why is the floor sticky? Mullberries.
Why aren't you outside? Because I keep telling myself it's time for bed.
Why do they call them "polka dots"? Anything makes a good excuse to have Another Polka!
Why isn't there a 13th floor? Thats where the NSA offices are.
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