Zach Miller (zarfmouse) wrote,
Zach Miller

Adam Brodsky

This is from Adam Brodsky's latest email and as always there's a deep bitter truth hidden within it:
the day after the election. 2004

first let me say I am thrilled and releived that our fearless and errorless leader George W. Bush has been resoundingly Reelected by the fine people of ohio. (Ann, Pete, Sarah, nice work.) now with no pesky reelection bid to make, its time to let the policies fly. and a 4 vote margin in the senate, i think robert bork might still be available for that high court gig. woo hoo. i couldn't be more stoked!

some of you may have been confused by the tone of my rantings to date. if i led you to believe that i was in fact a left wing pinko nut then i apologize, you see, i was invoking my highly developed and ridiculously subtle sense of sarcasm.

those of you who know me personally can attest to my staunch conservetism, deep commitment to tax cuts, and unflagging practically fanatic pro life stance. plus i really hate gays...they're

all of this is braced by my deep spiritual commitment to jesus christ our lord and savior. I'm sorry if, i have mislead you my dirty hippies. but please come to steel city with me on friday and help me celebrate 4 more years. Unless you are unable to attend because you got blown up in iraq.

i am just thankful that in these very complex times, we have a leader as smart as the people he leads.

and to all of you whiny liberal pussies out there, remember, he didn't steal this one, he actually won it. so don't be mad at him, you should be mad at me, and every other nascar loving, red state living, god fearing, marriage defining, fag hating, walmart shopping, arab hating, jew hating--but not as much as arab hating american.*

the die is cast my friends. you faggots lost your country, because as stupid as we red staters may be, it turns out we're smarter than you. can you believe that. you can't even outsmart a C student who can't talk good...all because you eschew the hiring of evil henchmen...suckers. you are all losers.#

you know what i feel like...actually you know what i would feel like if i wasn't a right leaning conservative republican jesus lover? i'd feel like when you're watching the jane fonda workout and she says 5 more 4 more 3 more 2 more 1 more 10 more...we had all hunkered down for 4 more and thought, oops, we fucked up in 2k, but we won't make that mistake again...but we...i mean you guys. got outsmarted. out strategized, out mudslung, outspent, outfoxed out outed and now you're out, that's why you're losers.

but not me, i'm a winner, and come out to steel city in phoenixville on friday, either to see what a winner looks like, or to join me in celebration.*

*um. if your gay, you can come, but not if your gay and married...cause there's no such thing you fucking fruits. god told me to hate you.

anyway i'd love to see you and sing some of my new songs like, "if you take my gun, i'll shoot you with my other gun" "exit strategies are for quitters" "(cut cut cut cut) my taxes" "Executioners for Pro-Life" "no wedding for Bruce" "i know what you've been reading" and other patriotic ditties

this will be my last full set of songs for the year, so i suggest you get your chapped asses out and see me so you can remember why you don't ever want to come to a show again.

#actually you should be mad at yourselves, and that stiff unengaging Dibbuk who you put up there to run. its time to find a message that resonates, and speaker who presents it. you were pussies, and chose Lurch cause he seemed least offensive. and now look where you are. you're a big bunch of losers who live on the edges of real america...god i hate you.
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