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Will I ever be a Doctor? - The Life and Thoughts of Zach

Jun. 30th, 2003

12:48 pm - Will I ever be a Doctor?

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this post got me thinking...

I still feel quite guilty about the fact that I was the only kid in my sixth grade class who raised a hand when they asked "how many of you want to get a Ph.D."

I was such a good and proper geek. Now I'm such a disappointment to Wauconda's educational system!

I think if I ever go to grad school, deep down, it'll be just to satisfy that guilt.

Ever since I have been away from the academic world I really feel my brain atrophying. Maybe it's just age. Or overload. I used to be so much smarter than I am now. I'm such a disappointment to every adult who ever said I was a bright kid.

Comments:

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From:spillshercoffee
Date:June 30th, 2003 11:02 am (UTC)
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You're still a bright kid, Zach!
;)
and just think of all you actually DO and ACCOMPLISH!

I was just musing. I could very easily state something to the contrary, and it would still stand true for me. The realms of experience and education are labyrinths with far too many ways to turn for me to explore every path.

Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE to read and study.
It feeds me.
In fact, I miss it quite a bit.
I just have a very distinct memory of realizing how much I was also MISSING by being holed up with a book the better part of my young life.
There is definitely a happy medium.
My bookshelf is proof that I have actually exceeded that.
:)

Live. Love. Sing. Dance.

Peace, man.


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From:zarfmouse
Date:June 30th, 2003 11:09 am (UTC)
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Oh there's no self loathing or anything to be implied by my post (or if there is, just the normal healthy amount).

I know I'm smart enough and all and I do a lot of stuff and blah blah blah. But I feel like an athlete that didn't stay in shape, or didn't workout to maximize potential...like there was some gift that is now gone.

I don't know if I just had a bigger ego (false perception of intelligence) when I was a kid or if I really have lost my edge but I really don't feel like my brain works as well as it used to. I'm not complaining, just reminiscing.

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From:spillshercoffee
Date:June 30th, 2003 11:20 am (UTC)

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I feel the exact same way.
And I doubt you've lost your "edge".

We were just learning at such an exponential rate as kids, and that curve starts to taper off as we age. Not that we cease to learn things, but we just aren't as aware of it on a daily basis, such as it is when we are children. All of our knowlege comes in small pieces that amalgamate into one singular mass of "that which we know".
We don't get gold stars any more for getting all the answers right. No one gives us those kinds of tests anymore.

Perhaps it's lack of validation of our brain power?
Which would go to show why I take silly IQ test online all the time. Just so some stupid database can tell me I'm still smart.
Heh.
Everybody needs a gold star now and again.
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From:in_the_end_hope
Date:June 30th, 2003 11:07 am (UTC)
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zach, i come from a family of scholars and i don't even have a b.a. trust me, this is not acceptable to my father/grandparents/aunt/uncle etc.

it's not that i don't like school.
because i do, in fact, love school.
it's that it's expensive and time consuming and i feel that i can read twice as much out of school as i can in it, and that i will actually learn more that way.

too bad we can't give ourselves degrees.

hi, my name is faith and my motivation sucks.
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From:zarfmouse
Date:June 30th, 2003 11:12 am (UTC)
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I'd like to give myself a scholarship!
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From:in_the_end_hope
Date:June 30th, 2003 11:13 am (UTC)

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here in what's known as "REALITY" we call "giving yourself a scholarship" "PAYING TUITION"!
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From:szasz
Date:June 30th, 2003 12:02 pm (UTC)
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Hey, is this FAITH Faith?? Hi there! You may not remember me.
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From:in_the_end_hope
Date:July 1st, 2003 09:07 am (UTC)

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yes, it's FAITH faith. who are you and why would i remember or remember you not?
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From:szasz
Date:July 1st, 2003 09:14 am (UTC)
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I'm Kate's partner and have been at several gatherings like Sunday sing from time to time. I first met you at a spring equinox party at Leigh's house (the one where people were getting nutty with the birthday body painting thing for Sarah Kanouse's birthday).
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From:in_the_end_hope
Date:July 1st, 2003 09:28 am (UTC)

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which kate?

and i don't remember ANYONE from that particular party, given that there were about 50 people in my house and i knew about 4 of them and was trying to clean and keep people from breaking stuff.
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From:folkyboy
Date:June 30th, 2003 11:20 am (UTC)
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aww

don't cave in to dumb society! do NOT let them win!
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From:kimmitt
Date:June 30th, 2003 01:34 pm (UTC)
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I have come to the conclusion that Very Smart People are not particularly rare and are, in fact, crucial to the basic functioning of our society. And therefore that those of us who are fortunate enough to fall into that category shouldn't worry about it so much; there are plenty of us to go around, and whatever we do, it's probably for the best.

On the other hand, don't let your brain atrophy, dude. Your brain's dead sexy.

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From:boannan
Date:June 30th, 2003 05:26 pm (UTC)
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y'know I think it might also have something to do with the fact that as you get older, you know more about what you don't know (y'know? ;)

I mean, when you're in math class as a kid and you nail the times tables, you feel like you're Master of the Universe 'cause as far as you know that's as far as math goes. I think the larger perspective you get as you grow up makes your knowledge database seem smaller.

you are smart! no worries! one of these days you'll get the PhD.
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From:zarfmouse
Date:June 30th, 2003 07:00 pm (UTC)
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Yah. I'm not really talking about knowledge so much as processing power and speed.

But like I said. This post is more about realization than lamentation. Like I'm not sure I _want_ the PhD. I'm not sure I _need_ to be as smart as I once was. It's just weird to not have those things be fundamental to my identity.

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