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cabinet meme from the_sween - The Life and Thoughts of Zach

Nov. 25th, 2004

02:07 am - cabinet meme from the_sween

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President: zarfmouse

Vice President: duck2ducks - Who else could I trust with this position? We'll make a great team. I expect many late night conversations about the direction we'll be taking the nation.

President's Chief of Staff: mfeltes83 - This is probably going to be the hardest job in my cabinet. You'll have to keep my flaky self and all my hippie friends organized. I'll trust you to give me some realistic perspective when my plans for the nation go too far overboard.

Secretary of Agriculture: herbivorous - We're going to ensure that we have a viable food supply for the entire nation that is locally grown. No more monoculture. Organic food for all! Also I'm giving the FDA to you, I expect you to work closely with Health and Human Services on a wholistic health program.

Secretary of Commerce: ryanfirewitch - Fair trade is the name of the game. I trust you can manage it.

Secretary of Defense: assclouds - Don't let those generals give you any guff. Use the Angry Jay on them. We're cutting your funding by a lot, at least 60%. I trust you to find useful ways to recycle all that shit your armies have got laying around for peaceful benefit because you can't keep it anymore. This will be a strictly defensive force. Angry Jay will also be useful when and if the Department of Peace fails.

Secretary of Education: boldmoves - I honestly don't have a grand plan for education at the federal level. I expect you to be visionary about this. We definitely need to encourage the states to fund education from income taxes rather than local property taxes. Also, no more unfunded mandates. I'd like to see every citizen have the right to a free college education. We'll tax the rich for this.

Secretary of Energy: mollisol - You get 20% of the funds that we take from Defense to support massive research into Solar, Wind, and Geothermal. Then we'll figure out how to roll it out everywhere. You'll also get money from a big tax on oil imports.

Secretary of Health & Human Services: the_sween - You will also be in charge of the new Single Payer Universal Health Care program. We'll pay for that with a payroll tax.

Department of Homeland Security: REDACTED. All agencies returned to their former departments.

Secretary of Housing & Urban Development: sarpo - Major funding for public art EVERYWHERE. Especial focus on funding locally created public art in economically depressed communities, both urban and rural. I'm giving you 5% of what we take away from Defense specifically for this purpose. I'll also transfer 90% of the current federal prisons budget over to you for more and better and more humane low income housing.

Secretary of the Interior: kakistocracy - First thing is find all that missing Indian money and give it back to them. Then we're disolving the Bureau of Indian Affairs and putting tribal relations under the State department where they belong. After that, just keep the public lands nice and public.

Attorney General (Department of Justice): boannan - You know what needs to be done. You have my full support. We're going to have to pardon a LOT of people, so you might want to start on the paperwork now.

Secretary of Labor: dsjones - First order of business is tripling the minimum wage, then we nationalize Walmart. Also better unemployment benefits.

Secretary of State: deaconobvious - If there's anyone that can find common ground with friends and foes alike, it's you. We're going to start being nice to everyone, let them know and help them trust in it.

Secretary of Transportation: arun251 - Critical Mass will be declared a national (monthly) holiday. Major federal funding for multi-modal transportation hubs (and bike accessibility on all public transportation), bike paths, light rail, and a high speed long distance rail system with at least as much coverage as the interstate highway system. At least 25% of the money cut out of the Defense budget will go here.

Secretary of the Treasury: kimmitt - Someone has to keep the capitalist system running until we finish disolving it and I can think of no more qualified friend.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: logodaedaly - A progressive friend who has respect for the military. Very important!

Office of National Drug Control Policy: revjack - Let's stop putting people in jail.

Environmental Protection Agency Director: lidora - I know you'd fight those polluting corporations tenaciously and I'd make sure you had the teeth to do it with REAL fines and the threat of instituting the corporate death penalty.

United States Trade Representative: kateorama - A good mediator and a good communicator. You'll be charged with breaking the news that we're backing out of NAFTA, WTO, FTAA, and all other multi-lateral trade agreements and negotiating bilateral treaties that protect the environment and worker's rights.

Department of Folk Music: goovie - Charged with preserving the tradition. Project Troubador: We'll use a network of subsidized (free folk shows for everyone!) touring solo acoustic performers as a national communication infrastructure. They'll report back to us on the state of the nation, better than any polls.

Department of Peace: cassiopia - I hate to copycat but this department does need to get created (heck there's been a bill in congress to create it for years) and you ARE perfect for the job. You get 50% of what we take away from Defense.

Department of Techno-democracy: uss_hairball - We're really going to bridge the digital divide for all citizens. Public access to high speed internet for all, and information literacy training for everybody. Through your helpdesk work I hope you have enough experience with folks to help make this stuff truly accessible.

Comments:

From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 25th, 2004 04:04 pm (UTC)

Mystery Person

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Hey man, have you ever noticed how when people get into a position of power they don't like to lose it? For example, Don Bishop at WEFT, Champaign City Manager Steve Carter, Tom Costello the assistant managing director of the MTD, and Steve Sobel from Openingbands.com. I could go on for hours listing people who sit on multiple boards and committees within Champaign County who are unwilling to relinquish control. I hate to say it but I would have to include you in this group. You seem, from your writings, to be a person that MUST be in control. If I am wrong in this observation then feel free to respond.

Mystery Person
4.158.201.21
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From:zarfmouse
Date:November 25th, 2004 05:12 pm (UTC)

Re: Mystery Person

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This is a very serious accusation and I'd like to hear more about it.

I'd love to hear which writings you feel justify this observation. I'd love to know which positions of power you think I have in the first place, much less ones that I'm unwilling to relinquish. If you are a member of an organization where I am in a leadership position, I'd love for you to talk to me about how you think I am abusing that leadership position (though honestly, right now I'm pretty sure I've relinquished every leadership position that I have) or harming the interests of the organization. I would happily step down from any position if my constituency told me that they thought I was doing a bad job. This has never happened to me. I have always supported radical democracy and consensus based decision making in my organizations.

I have been in and out of many leadership positions. I've been involved with many organizations. Universally the leaderships positions wear me out and I step down. It's hard work organizing a community and I've been honored that my peers have trusted me with that that responsibility. But every so often I've got to step down and let someone else take the job while I recover. I have certainly never made any move to subvert the democratic systems that have chosen me as leader.

So please, talk to me more. Let me know where you think I'm going wrong. Unless you are just throwing stones.
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From:assclouds
Date:November 28th, 2004 08:33 pm (UTC)

Re: Mystery Person

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Knowing both Don Bishop and Steve Sobel personally, I can assure you that Zach is not similar to these people in any way at all. Sobel and Bishop both have serious "blame" complexes - unable to assume responsibility for their faults. If anything, Zach is too willing to accept fault for things, even if he was uninvolved.

This is an empty accusation.
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From:jasunshine
Date:November 25th, 2004 06:08 pm (UTC)
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That would be a fun country to live in for 4 years!

Oh and "Mystery Person", be careful or zarfmouse will have you at the bottom of Crystal Lake in a pair of cement shoes.

Happy Thanksgiving!
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From:sarpo
Date:November 25th, 2004 08:41 pm (UTC)
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Love it. Murals everywhere! I think the importance of locally created art cannot be overestimated. It's about making your surroundings more aesthetic and in doing so, investing yourself in them.

As for Mystery person, I really don't know what they are referring to, and I don't have direct contact with your political/organizing self. But, just generally, I feel that many people "in power" don't want to relinquish their positions because they feel that they are good at what they do, not because they are power hungry. There's nothing wrong with seeking power or wanting to organize. It's admirable - someone has to do it, or *nothing* is ever accomplished. It's abusing power that's evil.
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From:mfeltes83
Date:November 25th, 2004 11:54 pm (UTC)
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Wow. I'm honored. Thank you.

That said, "a viable food supply for the entire nation that is locally grown. No more monoculture. Organic food for all!"? Zach, there's not enough kaka in the world to make this happen, unless you're willing to provoke mass starvation.

Also, I marvel at how I manage to unwittingly portray this image of being an organized and responsible person when I'm nothing of the sort.
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From:zarfmouse
Date:November 27th, 2004 09:42 am (UTC)
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If the Greens can't get you back through ideology, we'll get you back through appointment. :)
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From:ryanfirewitch
Date:November 26th, 2004 05:20 pm (UTC)
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Thanks for the Cabinet appointment!

You've got my support should you choose to run for President! Of course something tells me there's this pesky little problem of Congress which would prevent implementation of a lot of this cool stuff. ;-)
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From:zarfmouse
Date:November 26th, 2004 08:36 pm (UTC)
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Any world in which the electoral college chooses me for president is a world in which Congress is packed with Greens. I'm not too worried.

This is the thing that I think a lot of people miss when Greens talk about their agendas. It isn't as if we are just going to get magicked into elected positions. If we run on a Green agenda and then get elected then we have a mandate from the people for the Green agenda. Why wouldn't congress obey they electoral wishes of the people if they were expressed in such clear terms?

Our work is the work of educating and inspiring people towards a Green vision, that is how Greens win. When we win it is a symbol that the electorate have transformed themselves.

But...I will never run for President. So you all are screwed out of your cabinet positions.
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From:ryanfirewitch
Date:November 26th, 2004 08:56 pm (UTC)
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Darn....

Oh well....

Personally, I'd think the Greens' first agenda should be voting reform, such as STV, instant runoff, etc. Until I can vote "1st choice Green 2nd choice Democrat" I am more likely to vote Democrat, not because I like the party, but because it's a vote against the Repugs. Kerry didn't inspire me at all, but the thought of 4 more years of Bush scares the crap out of me.
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From:zarfmouse
Date:November 26th, 2004 09:10 pm (UTC)
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Election reform is definitely at the top of our "realistic short term goals" right now. We're quite aware that there's no way we can really grow to acheive long range systemic change without that. Of course one of the ways we earn the political capital neccessary to demand voting reform is by winning votes.

We're working hard to convince local Democrats in the Urbana City Council to change the city council elections to use some more fair voting system such as Condorcet. They are listening to us in a way that I don't think they ever would have before we got 7-31% of the vote throughout their home turf in county board races. Now we have a little deal making power "pledge to support voting reform and we'll sit this spring election cycle out".
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From:herbivorous
Date:November 27th, 2004 04:08 am (UTC)
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I gladly and humbly accept. Thanks, Zach.
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From:boannan
Date:November 27th, 2004 04:16 pm (UTC)
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woohooo! And then there's the little matter of the Patriot Act.....
can I bug you about Supreme Court appointees too? :)
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From:dsjones
Date:November 27th, 2004 11:46 pm (UTC)
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Thank you Zach, I'll do everything I can to help the masses of folks (some holding down two jobs to make ends meet) who work themselves to the bone for little compensation. That way they can actually spend TIME with their loved ones and the family unit will be restored!
*a dream I hope to see realized someday*
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From:assclouds
Date:November 28th, 2004 08:17 pm (UTC)
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"Secretary of Defense: [info]assclouds - Don't let those generals give you any guff. Use the Angry Jay on them."

Goddamnit.
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From:swank76
Date:November 28th, 2004 08:47 pm (UTC)
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If I were president, I would apend a little something to any treaty/loan/whatever when some other country comes to borrow money or aid. Make them pass it a law so that as long as cash is owed to the US of A, their nationals have to be nice to us or it's legal to pimp slap them in the face. Open hand, of course. No permanent damage, just keeps people from asking us for help and then being pissy because Americans are crass and bastards. I mean, we are, no doubt. But I think that would be cool.

Or maybe I'm just grumpy from dealing with foreign exchange students all weekend.
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From:superlemming13
Date:November 29th, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC)
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Can I be the head of the Department of Slackerdom? I'd do a great job, as long as I don't have to do anything.
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From:the_sween
Date:November 29th, 2004 05:32 pm (UTC)
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Done. And good choice for revjack, I also considered him for that position.
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